“I’ve got allergies got a lot of allergies
got a lot of Vaseline tryin’ to drain me of these allergies”
(the true version of) Energy – Drake
For all you Mr. Noodles lovers out there, guess what?!
Yet as a Torontonian, I know that the month of May is quite a lot different from other cities month. For us, instead of having April showers we usually have May showers. Why? Mother Nature has an issue with the 6ix and decides to make it snow in April every single year….but this year. 2016 is the year that Mother Nature was on our side. Some say it was because of the El Nino , but we all truly know the reason why…. VIEWS. Mother Nature knew that Drake’s album was about to drop a new sound so she held back. Praise you MN. To honor his 4th studio album I have decided to relate the worst part about May to Drake. Allergies.
Here is my 1-8 scale of how Drake we all feel this Allergy season
We all seem to start at Drake 10 in the beginning. After every long, cold winter, we forget how miserable spring is. Sure, it may be beautiful and bring out beautiful scents of pollen into the air. Yet the thing stopping you from taking it all in the fact that you cannot SMELL the beautiful scents because of course you are allergic to pollen. And grass. And dandelions. Let’s just say you are allergic to the whole season.
Then you have to tackle being known as the social sniffler. The Social Sniffler is that one person who ever .5 seconds seems to have to blow their nose. No matter where they are it seems to happen: the office, at school, at the store, in bed, etc. Since they have pride and do not want to face the embarrassment of blowing their nose, every body who hears them turns into Drake 5 & 6. These Drakes just cannot seem to wrap their heads around the fact that one cannot BLOW THEIR NOSE. Lets face it, we all do it. So why do you need to excuse yourself to blow your nose out in the hallway? Us Drakes just do not get it.
Then there are the the people who tell the sniffles, “Why don’t you try this allergy pill it worked for…..*que long story about his exs girls best friend*”. Instantly Snifflers looks at this poser like Drake 4-3. If you are a social sniffler , then I’m sorry, but you have already tried every single pill and…none of them work! You are so done with being given these tips because they do not work.
Sometimes there is that rare occasion though. The occasion it does work. The only time that it seems to work is when you are sitting at home, watching Girls or some Food Network show, and they kick in. A light inside of us at that moment turns into Drake 9, yet quickly fades because they know that the only time this pill works is when you have to look horrible and have no plans. So of course, you instantly turn back into Drake 6. 100-0 Real Quick.
Lastly there is Drake 1, when you finally can sleep! After wearing 2 Breathe Right Strips and 2 hours of white noises, you fall asleep.
(No one looks as peaceful as this man in May…Ever!)
Yes. Finally. The only catch is…snoring. While you are there looking like 1 Drake , your partner/dog/cat/fish is looking at you all Drake 5 wondering if your relationship is, “worth all of this?”.
Before you are all Justin Timberlake for May, just remember…How would Drake feel?
I hope after this post you are all feeling like Drake 10 ;)!
-Sock The Walk
It would mean so much if you could share how drake you feel after this!